Day Five: Part One

I hate these moments that come when I really, really want to talk to him. I would like nothing better than to call him right now and talk and just fix everything. But that won't happen. Nothing will be fixed. You can't fix this. You can't make anyone fall back in love with you. That's now how it works.

Thank goodness for friends and family. I'd probably be in the fetal position right now crying my heart out if it weren't for the people who still love me. Love is very powerful. I know love. The commitment and the understanding between two people and the willingness to open you heart. Really open it.

I thought he understood love. When he told me he loved me, I felt like he did. I think he did. But I don't know what happened. I wish I knew what happened.

I'm starting to do the opposite of what your suppose to. I keep second guessing myself. Everything I've said and done through out the last couple of months.

There's no going back though. There isn't. This is life. This is how it goes.

But this isn't forever. One day it'll be something like Joe Fox's confession to Kathleen Kelly in 'You've Got Mail.'

"I would have asked for you phone number and I wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling and asking, 'How about coffee, drinks, dinner, a movie...for as long as we both shall live?"

And we'll love each other. And it'll be fact.